Nov 17, 2010

Sharing Our Reality....

This is nothing much, but if anyone just looked at our facebook page and the comments and topics we discuss. They would be amazed by how many birhtmothers feel. I just posted some

2010 11/1


BirthMom Adoption I'm waiting for a fall update that was supposed to come sometime in early September. I check the mailbox fifteen times a day! This is torture! What if it got lost or I missed it? I reach a point when I go too long without an update, or see a pic of her to know she is OK, when every night I have nightmares! Avoiding the...m tonight. Pray that they send news soon to me :)
Linette Cox Mccurdy
I on the other hand are holding off on sending school pictures of my Lil ones. Why you ask.. the 7 yr old has decided she doesn't want her birth mommy to know anything about her. I am hoping this is her anger stage and will pass quickly so ...I hold back unable to tell you because the last thing I would want to do is to upset you.Inside I am hoping you will understand and be patient. Always remember I love you for the gift you gave me but must always do what is best for OUR child...
- An adoptive MommySee More
November 2 at 5:53am · LikeUnlike
Christin D. Waddell The sad thing is that adoptive mommy would never of had that child had it not been for us. Its heart breaking not to find the update in the mail or wait for weeks to get an email. I'm pretty sure a seven year old isn't gonna know if mommy mails an update or not unless you tell her.
November 2 at 8:43am · LikeUnlike
Linette Cox Mccurdy I didn't mean to upset anyone. My comment was intended to try to help you feel better and see the update may be coming. Honesty is very important in adoptive situations and some day my 7 yr old will meet her other mommy and realize that I sent things she ask me not to and that may also hurt her. I talk about her other mommy and teach her to love and respect her. once again I am sorry I just thought it might set your mind at ease to know they are thinking of you.
November 2 at 9:52am · LikeUnlike
Christin D. Waddell I'm sorry I came off as a b**ch. You just have to understand that it does hurt hearing things like that, ESPECIALLY if you're a birth mom who doesn't get the contact that she would like to have with her adoptive family. We don't get peace of mind. We kind of live from update to update just to see if our biological child is alright. You seem like a kind woman but you have to understand where we are coming from too.

November 2 at 10:07am · LikeUnlikeLinette Cox Mccurdy Thank You for helping me to understand your side and I am going to send those photos.If the adoptive parents in your situation don't say it then let me say to You... I love you for what you did. Only a very caring, loving mother could put herself through the pain you are going through and put her child's needs and happiness first. God Bless you for what you did!
November 2 at 10:29am · LikeUnlike
Christin D. Waddell Thank you and another thank you for being so open and understanding. :) Blessings.
November 2 at 10:32am · LikeUnlike
Robin Russell Berryhill I placed a daughter for adoption 21 years ago and when it came to her birthday I would get this feeling in my stomach becuase I was waiting and wanting to see pictures of her and when I got the pictures the feeling did not go away. The decision to place her for adoption 21 years ago was very hard but I know that I made the right decision. I dream of the day that I get to look into her eyes and touch her skin and I hope that we build a relationship that will last forever.
November 2 at 4:46pm · LikeUnlike
Nancy Nelson Fidler
I have reunited with my beautiful and loving daughter about 6 yrs ago. I know the feelings that you are feeling. I was blessed. Mine was a closed adoption & when she turned 6 - her Mom wrote me. It then became "semi open". I would get a let...ter about once a year. The amazing part to me was everytime I "talked" to my girl as I drove in my car, I would get home and the letter would be waiting for me in my mailbox. This was so strange! Each time it would take a little longer my first thought was always "did I say something wrong in my last letter?" It turned out I never had but not knowing who or where they were (letters were all sent through the agency) I always was afraid that maybe, just maybe, something I wrote would be misinterpredited. I always forgot that life can get busy some times. Many times they would be on vacation or something would be happening that they got busy. It was not something I had said or done. I'll say some prayers that you will get that letter soon!See More
November 2 at 7:48pm · LikeUnlike
BirthMom Adoption Thank u all. I'm gonna give this one to God and believe this must be part of his plan, and I'll see why someday. ( sounds good written out, but I'll probably only last a few weeks!)
November 3 at 8:07pm · LikeUnlike

BirthMom Adoption No luck again today. Maybe the mailman lost it? Or maybe she is not doing well and very sick? Maybe they just hate me? A special update too, I was supposed to receive a DVD of her along with pictures!!! She can talk now & I've never heard her voice before! I know what it will sound like cause I hear her in my dreams, ...can't wait to see if it really is her voice!

November 3 at 8:30pm via
Sweet Comments...

Meghan Marchello My heart is just breaking that you are waiting so long. I don't think they hate you, they probably have no clue unfortunately, that a day seems like a year right now. I wish adoptive parents remembered how they felt when they were waiting for news during their wait to adopt and how slowly time passed then. Please ap's remember and send the pics now not tomorrow!! Hope they come soon xoxo

November 3 at 8:41pm · LikeUnlike · 3 peopleLoading...
Amy Ayers
It gets easier. Even after 13 years, I love the days that I get info/pix/whatever. However, I no longer have the heartache of disappointment when stuff doesn't appear when I expect it too. As the kids get older, the parents' time is busier ...and busier, and unfortunately, the birthmom is not always the top priority - the child is - as it should be. I will pray for you to get your update soon. Trust that it usually means that there is LESS to worry about, not more. Also - please let them know how much you appreciate updates. My daughters family mistakenly thought that I didn't want any more updates, so for a couple of years I didn't get anything. It took me writing to them to re-establish contact. I never got videos. Count yourself blessed if you do! I would have loved to see her in action in those days.See More
November 3 at 8:49pm · LikeUnlike · 1 personLoading...
BirthMom Adoption Thank you. Your comments surprisingly help (I feel weird posting them, like I am wanting attention or something... I just do it cause it helps me!)
November 3 at 8:57pm · LikeUnlike · 1 personLoading...
Jennifer Antos
I haven't been lucky enough to adopt yet. I am still waiting for a blessing from a birthmom and God but I have to say. I can only imagine how hard it is too wait for pictures and such. I know that if someone blesses me with the gift of a... child that I want the birthmom to be a part of their life. My mom was adopted in the day when you didn't know where the birthparents are and that can be hard. My prayers are with you and please don't link all ap's together cause I know that their are considerate ones out there. Keep your chin up and know that people are praying for your comfort and support.See More
November 3 at 11:02pm · LikeUnlike · 3 peopleLoading...
Linette Cox Mccurdy ‎@ BM Adoption... I was on here the other day speaking with a BM about this and had been holding off sending my daughters other mommy pictures and THANKS mainly to you and my conversation with the other BM I mailed them yesterday. If it helps a Lil you did help an adoptive mom understand better and another BM will be very happy when she gets her mail today all because you posted your feelings. Thank You
November 4 at 5:57am · LikeUnlike · 2 peopleLoading...
Jennifer Anderson-Foster wow that would be awesome!! i only got pics once a yr til she turns five then no more pics. i couldnt imagine hearing her voice although like u said we can hear it in our dreams. i hope u get that dvd soon, im so excited for you....keep me updated
November 4 at 10:06am · LikeUnlike · 2 peopleLoading...
Nancy Holt I'm the adoptee wanting info from a birth mom and father who do not want to have contact. Hell, I'm 56, raised by my mother and father, but would love to have family history information. Sometimes it just sucks.
November 4 at 10:11am · LikeUnlike · 1 personLoading...
Molly Apperson I contacted my birthmother when I was 50 and got a second rejection. She says she put it in her past. Has had 18 years to change her mind.. she never will.. so prepair your self for what does come of it.. Death or acceptance or another rejection... But you will at least know...more.. so it is an acheivment
November 7 at 10:32am · LikeUnlike · 1 personLoading...
Kristina Brown Any news?? Hope you are doing better this week,, Take care of yourself and vent whenever you need to it helps....
November 8 at 1:32pm · LikeUnlike · 1 personLoading...
BirthMom Adoption Not yet, thanks for asking!
November 8 at 1:44pm · LikeUnlike · 1 personLoading...
Being Juno My heart breaks for you and I am praying that you get your update soon. My Aunt is Adoptive and she moved this year and she was a few months late on her pics too. But happily your story has inspired her to include pics of them as a family and not just my cousin. :) Thank you for that and I am praying for you. Stay strong. God knows you need those pics!
November 8 at 2:46pm · LikeUnlike · 2 peopleLoading...

BirthMom Adoption The agency emailed me today. Still no update has arrived for me. Going on 3 months late now. They said "this happens often, AP's have busy lives. Well, I have no life without those updates :( Fun times!
3 hours ago ·LikeUnlike · Comment · View Feedback (9)Hide Feedback (9)

Jennifer Cook Bell NOT cool... Does the agency contact the AP's to ask about that??
3 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Kelly Knott Johnnie That really sucks ...I am so sorry I wish I new where my daughters' birthmother was so I could send updates and pics ...I think I will hire a searcher soon ( she's in Guatemala) As a birthmom what are your thoughts?
3 hours ago · LikeUnlike · 1 personLoading...
BirthMom Adoption It just seems like they would want to share about and brag about her, ya know?
3 hours ago · LikeUnlike · 1 personLoading...
BirthMom Adoption kelly- I'd try to find her that would be the best gift ever to her, i bet. Never met a birthmom that didn't want to know about her kid.
3 hours ago · LikeUnlike · 1 personJennifer Cook Bell likes this.
Kelly Knott Johnnie I think so too :) Thank You ♥ I hope you hear something soon
3 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Adoption Gal Me too! God will come thru don't worry!
2 hours ago · LikeUnlike · 1 personJennifer Cook Bell likes this