Birth Mother's Day is almost here!

Birth Mother's Day is almost here!

One goal of Birth Mom Missions is to increase media awareness of Birth Mother's day (which has been the day before mother's day every year since 1990)

Remember....if you are adopted, your Birth Mother Loves You!

(options to birthmom: lifemom, firstmom, tummymom, etc...In actuality most birth moms of adoption don't really care what they are called by the adoptive family and others....as long as they are called.)

“So on Birthmother’s Day I find myself in the grocery store buying a dozen yellow roses for myself, just as I will do again this year. And I will write to me a card that says, “A good mother does what is best for her children ... you are a good mother.” And I will put them on the table and I will glance at them throughout the day. I may even have the courage to breathe in their sweet scent. Their presence in my house, and on my table, will be a reminder that sometimes being a good mother is something I have to do alone. Without thank you’s or giggles of joy, when there are no smiles of pride to confirm, when there are no handmade cards to open carefully, when there are no gifts to exclaim surprise over, when there are no party hats or balloons to throw out, when there is no cake to cover, when there are no laps or little arms to embrace ... when it is just simply a dozen yellow roses sitting atop my kitchen table seemingly whispering all day long; I remember the reason I am a good mother.

A good mother will spend all day cleaning her children’s rooms just to get all the toys back out that evening as she plays beside her children without any knowledge of time. A good mother will wait to pay the bills until after her kids go to sleep so that they don’t hear her crying. A good mother will get immunizations, birth records, applications, fees, and every minute detail taken care of in less than a day just so she can enjoy the moment her five year old sees his Kindergarten classroom for the first time. A good mother will not scream or cry when taking care of a bloody wound just so her child will remain calm. A good mother will cook a meal and even though she is exhausted she will sit down to dinner with the energy of a two-year-old just to ensure her children eat right. A good mother will praise even the littlest of things, and discipline the worst of things, all with the same attitude so that her children know no fear of success or failure. And the greatest of mothers do all this and more without being motivated by what she will be given in return for her sacrifices. A good mother will give her child over into the lives of a family who will give that child what she cannot, just to ensure its happiness. A good mother will never, for one moment, think of herself before she thinks of her children. And she never asks for a reward in return for her heroic ability to do everything she does.
The difference between Birthmother’s Day with yellow roses on my table and Mother’s Day with my three children eager to please? Birthmothers Day is for me to validate that one incredible act of motherhood that not only gave life, but that truly taught me the real meaning of what being a mother is. And Mother’s Day is the ultimate reward that stems from those beautiful flowers sitting atop my table.© Courtney Frey

Happy Birthmother’s Day to all my yellow rose girls who will be remembering the same thing as I this coming Saturday!

Explanation of Birthmother’s day:
Birthmother’s day is a day to celebrate and honor our birthmotherhood. Its a day to reflect on the choice we made and the life we gave. Its a day to recognize, that we are good mothers who made the ultimate sacrifice for our children.
History on Birthmother’s Day:
Birthmother’s Day is celebrated the Saturday before Mother’s Day. It originated in 1990 by a group of birthmothers in Seattle, Washington. Most birthmothers will agree that Mother’s Day is a very painful holiday and these women wanted to create something that would honor their birthmotherhood.
Celebrating Birthmom’s Day:
Birthmother’s Day unites birthmoms. A lot of agencies and organizations are hosting birthmother’s day events and it has become more recognized by the adoption community as a day of remembrance for birthmothers. Check with agencies, support groups, and adoption related organizations in your area to see if they might be hosting a Birthmom’s Day event. If not, then celebrate on your own. Treat yourself to a special dinner or buy yourself a rose - something to celebrate your birthmotherhood!!
Before I became a birth mom I had no idea there was such a thing. Then when mother's day rolled around last year, just a month after placement day, it was nice to find there was a holiday for us women who didn't really fit into the "mother's day" category to be remembered. We hope next year to have enough funds in the nonprofit to celebrate in a much bigger way and affect more women (pre and post adoption) I wish for all adoptee's to know how much they are truly loved by us. I will never stop loving my daughter. When she is old enough and the parents tell her about me, I want her to be able to see that I never stopped loving her from the moment I said goodbye, Ask us for any advice on gift selections or wording: info@birthmommissions.com

We would appreciate if you would help us spread the word by joining on of our many social networks, donating, or telling someone about http://birthbommissions.com, or becoming a fan of our facebook page http://www.facebook.com/pages/BirthMomMissions

Support Birth Mother's on Birth Mom's Day 2010!

Birth Mother's Day!

Support Birth Mother's on Birth Mom's Day 2010! Don’t worry, no event to attend! Just join if want to help the Mission.

Five Comments NOT to Say to a Birthmom

Have you ever wondered what to say to a woman who has relinquished her child for adoption?  Afraid to say the wrong thing?
Here are five comments NOT to say to a Birthmother who has placed a child in an open adoption.

I. "I could never place my baby for adoption."

This one used to make me cringe each time I hard it. I felt like I had failed at motherhood and the person making the comment has succeeded. That I must have been heartless to be able to do such an act. I felt inferior, like I need to prove something to them.
I have since learned I am not inferior, and I do not have to prove my mothering abilities to anyone. I believe now that comment has more to do with the person making it, than myself. Never has a woman secure in her role as a mother said that to me. Only the doubting, struggling-to-get-by mothers who feel that they must make such a declaration.
II. "What a wonderful gift you have given to a childless couple"
Try to see this one from the Birthmother's point of view. Now, I love my daughter's adoptive parents, but by no means did I place my first-born child as a 'gift' to a childless couple. I am not that nice, not that giving. When I clutched my nine-month pregnant belly with tears in my eyes, I did not recite the phrase, "Just think how I am giving a special gift to people I do not know".
When it comes down to the day when you hold your child for the first time, all thoughts of anyone else but your child and yourself fade away. There has to a higher reason for placement.
I gave Emily's parents as a gift to my daughter. That was my plan. That was my intention. Now, as an added benefit, I see her parents lives enriched by Emily's existence. Together, we celebrate the gift of knowing our daughter, Emily.


III. "You can have other children"
This speaker means well, I am sure, but this comment can strike the very heart of a Birthmother. Other children? You can never replace another child with another! To try and do so is to dishonor the child you have placed for adoption and the child you use to fill the void.
Let us remember our children. Let us celebrate them. We hold a special place in our hearts where their names will be etched forever.
No matter how many babies you carry out of the hospital with you, you never will forget the one you did not.


IV. A lady once said to me, "That sure is 'nice' of her parents to let you see Emily."
My quick reply was, "That sure was nice of me to give them my baby!"
Needless to say she said nothing more. I try to educate people by telling them my story, even on days I do not feel like doing so. Some, I have learned, are not able to be very teachable on the subject.
Her attitude was that I should be grateful, as a dog is grateful to get scraps from the dinner table. I will not put myself in such a position. I refuse to be the silent shadow in the corner with my eyes downcast.
Aside from the fact my daughter's parents would never treat me in such a fashion, I am grateful to God. The open adoption I have with my daughter is like a gift from Him-a gift that I get to open each time I see her smiling face.


V. The fifth response a Birthmother does not want to hear is an awkward silence.
We want to talk about our children. We want to remember them. We know when you are avoiding it, and it hurts.
I love it when others ask me how Emily is doing and to ask to see the pictures from my recent visit. I enjoy swapping my labor and delivery tales with other mothers. By the way, I was in labor for forty-two hours with my Emily! Ouch!
It is okay to talk about the children we placed. We placed them for adoption. We did not place them out of our thoughts and hearts.
I do not wish to offend others, but to educate how a Birthmother may feel about these five comments. Since not every Birthmother is the same, some may disagree or not be affected by the above.
I hope by reading this article you will feel more confident and comfortable when speaking with a Birthmother. Please do not think we would rather not talk about our children. Silence is the first step to many on the road to shame.

© Skye Hardwick. ©2000.2001

Another Baby Saved!

This happened last Friday with 40 days 4 Life Dallas! Baby Saved as Children Pray! From the dallas blog: "Greetings in the name of Jesus to all! How fitting today's entry carries the images of two childlike images. Today is the is feast day of the Guardian Angel and yesterday the feast day of St. Therese of Lisieux. Surely the Guardian Angel was watching over the unborn child as he was saved yesterday at Robinson's abortion center while the children were praying. The 6th and 8th grade students from Mount Saint Michael Catholic School had joined the others from St. Cecilia Parish to pray at the center. St. Therese had a childlike quality that endeared her to people. Her spirituality reminds us that our love for God should be as little children love their father. The baby saved is of a 21 year old unmarried woman who had been told by her own mother not to come home if she ever became pregnant out of wedlock. She didn't know what to do and felt having an abortion was the only option open to her. She did not enter Robinson's to have the abortion but stopped to talk to the sidewalk counselor who was present. As she spoke to the counselor she was handed an infant model of the baby she carries. Holding this image convinced her to turn away from having the abortion. She, with friends that had accompanied her, went to Birth Choice for further assistance. Afterwards, she came out and told the same sidewalk counselor that everything is going to be all right. Thank you Guardian Angel and St. Therese for interceding in the graces given to this young woman in order for her to have the strength of will to make the decision to save her baby." Prayer to Your Guardian Angel Angel of God,my guardian dear, To whom God's love commits me here, Ever this day,be at my side, To light and guard,Rule and guide. Amen. Your prayers are saving the lives of babies and their mothers from a life of remorse and depression. Come to pray at the Robinson abortion center. If you have not committed to a time, go to the Website and sign up. http://www.40daysforlife.com/dallas/

pro-choice? really?

pro-choice? really? Posted: 05 Oct 2009 03:28 PM PDT This proves just what the women claimed to want…rights over their "own bodies." Well then why cant we say no to the Mercury adjunct killer vaccine if we want to? (At least I'm only harming one person, with abortion it's usually two!) The fact that the pro-choice people haven't said a word about this yet.…just shows where their mind is focused and what their agenda truly is. Just a reminder of some harms: These are just some of the ingredients used in production of vaccines: * Ethylene glycol — antifreeze * Phenol — also known as carbolic acid. This is used as a disinfectant, dye. * Formaldehyde — a known cancer causing agent *Aluminum — is associated with Alzheimer's disease and seizures, also cancer producing in laboratory mice. It is used as an additive to promote antibody response. * Thimerosal — a mercury disinfectant/ preservative. It can result in brain injury and autoimmune disease. * Neomycin, Streptomycin — antibiotics which have caused allergic reactions in some people. 7. These vaccines are also grown on and strained thru animal or human tissue such as monkey kidney tissue, chicken embryo, embryonic guinea pig cells, calf serum, human diploid cells (the dissected organs of aborted fetuses as in the case of rubella, hepatitis A, and chicken pox vaccines). 8. The problem with using animal cells is that during serial passage of the virus thru the animal cells, animal RNA and DNA can be transferred from one host to another. Undetected animal viruses may slip past quality control testing procedures, as happened during the years 1955 thru 1961. The polio vaccine, which was grown on the kidney of the African Green monkey (simian), was contaminated with SV40 (simian virus #40 — the 40th discovered) which differs from the prior 39 because it has oncogenic (cancer causing) properties.What other viruses could be slipping by from animal tissue, administered through vaccinations,that we don't know of? Mayer Eisenstein MD ——————————————————————————————————————————- If the pro-choice argument prohibits both men and the state from telling a woman what she can or can't do with her body when it comes to reproduction, why is it okay for men and the state of New York to tell her what she can or can't do with her body when it comes to immunization? Logically, for one to hold muster, the other must follow. . So where are they?  I haven't heard a peep, even from anyone  (except my libertarian friends) not even the usually irrepressible celebrity feminists. But it's not just an issue of women's rights. Requiring health-care workers to get the flu shot should put a scare into freedom-loving libertarians everywhere. As everyone knows, if you give the government an inch, they'll take 5,280 feet – where would this end? Do we force vaccination on school teachers? Bus drivers? Airport workers? Toll booth collectors? Doormen? Yet the libertarian blogosphere are the only place that care Need to hurry on this issue, before Arizona and Florida and Nebraska and the rest of the country join New York in forcing a vaccine on thousands of its residents. A number of states, including Iowa, Massachusetts and North Carolina, are already toying with the notion of forcible quarantines for flu patients, jailing those who refuse isolation, and warrant-less home entry in the interest of preventing a flu epidemic. New York is a poor, indefensible lab rat for this startling new nanny-state policy. If only the feminists and the libertarians (and even PETA perhaps?) could recognize the urgency of the problem, get over their differences, and come together in opposition to it.  Libertarians Sure are fighting it though!