This birthmom deal is not at all like I imagined it would be. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change my decision! I know she was meant to be adopted into her family. I am still so amazed at how clear that was. It's just that post-adoption is nothing at all like I thought, not even close. Not worse, not better, just different. I guess all I had to go on was my own imagination at the time! Come to think of it, I don't know how I pictured it, maybe I didn't..Or maybe God was helping me see the goodness and love in it, and I just forget now at times. When I saw her and her family together in person or in pictures, it just made me so happy. It always has, I just don't get to see as many pics as before.
It just seemed much more "do-able" then. It still is, it's just that every emotion that I think should be next, is always the total opposite in reality. Usually my body starts aching when I am trying to avoid an emotion, and it isn't until my body gives out that I will acknowledge the pain. I'm just all over the place with my feelings. It's an overall icky feeling when time goes by and the memory of someone you can see slowly drifting away. It's like you know that's supposed to happen and it is how anyone grieves a loss and gets better over time, but I want to fight it inside with all my heart too! Is that self-destructive behavior then? Cause I don't want to follow the steps anymore in my grief processing pamphlet. I want to just call it a day and set up base at #6 for a while. If I were her (my daughter), I don't think I would want...yeah I'm sure I wouldn't want, to be forgotten in the least bit. Even if she resented me for the adoption, I would like her to know I never went a second without thinking about her. But it's not about holding onto it because I feel guilty and think it will hurt her to move on (that is the common response I get from people) It's more selfish than that. Instead I can't (or it feels I can't) let go because I think it will hurt ME to do so. If it's biological, then why try process anything, it's ingrained in you. Maybe it is inevitable though, the mind just will forget... and that just, well, sucks. That's my feeling about the dang grief processing model!
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. - C.S. Lewis
I don't lie the Kubler-Ross 5 stages of grief (that is just not enough steps 4 me) Looking at any grief processing theory, even with 10 steps, doesn't make you thrilled for the future...
I found this articel and website interesting: http://www.birthpsychology.com/birthscene/adoption4.html And this little quote proves my beliefs on attachement may be true:
"Many doctors and psychologists now understand that bonding doesn't begin at birth, but is a continuum of physiological, psychological, and spiritual events which begin in utero and continue throughout the postnatal bonding period. When this natural evolution is interrupted by a postnatal separation from the biological mother, the resultant experience of abandonment and loss is indelibly imprinted upon the unconscious minds of these children, causing that which I call the primal wound'." So writes Nancy Verrier in her book, The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child (1993).
But what a fetus most needs--from the earliest moments after conception--is to feel a sense of connection with its mother, a feeling from her that he or she is loved, but more than just loved, welcomed--if not on the practical, physical level of knowing for sure that she will ultimately parent the child, then on the more spiritual realm of recognizing it to be a child of God, an innocent being that needs nurturance in this moment.
A woman with a crisis pregnancy may not feel entitled to bond with her baby. She may believe--like society in general tends to believe, especially if she is even considering adoption for her child--that it is her "job" not to do what is usually the natural thing, which is to embrace that baby on some level. I think it's critical that a woman in this circumstance be supported and guided in following her instinct to connect with her baby, with the crucial--and perhaps liberating--understanding that the unknown future of their relationship together need not--and should not!--dictate that she not connect with the baby now.
I dream of a big happy house with lots of smiles and laughs and good food and music on the radio, and oh how I wish that for you...will you have that? I don't know right now what will await you, or me, after you arrive into this world... But whatever home you have later, I want your home now to be secure. As I rub my belly I wonder what you feel in there, do you feel my love for you? Do you feel my fear, too? You probably do, but feel my love more, okay? Feel my love...
Hand in hand with this sense of not being entitled to claim the baby, there is sometimes the feeling of shame on the part of a woman facing a crisis pregnancy, that she's made this big "mistake", perhaps feels that she's letting lots of people down--her parents, her boyfriend, etc.--and may not even feel worthy of claiming the baby inside her. The feeling may be that she'll "save" the baby by staying detached from it: "I'm not going to screw up your life, too."
A woman having these types of feelings can hopefully be led to an understanding that regardless of how she views herself--or how anyone else "on the outside" may view her--and regardless of her difficult circumstances, the most important thing for her baby is to feel her very real, claiming presence. She needs to know that she is everything to her baby, if only for this short time in her womb.
Here is a summary on grief processing theories over the years:
Grief is a Natural process. Everyone has griefs, both large and small:
A large grief might be the loss of a loved one grief, a rape grief, incest grief, or loosing a limb grief.
A small grief might be the canceling of an important event like the next bif family wedding, or cutting yourself on broken glass during dishes.
the biblical phrase "Grieve Not" - it’s real, but really says, "Grieve with hope".
The first Study (I think) on grief was by Dr. Erich Lindeman, Harvard College, Scholarly paper "Symptomatology and Management of Acute Grief" published in the American Journal of Psychiatry in the 1960’s. The grieving person has to "extricate himself from the bondage to the deceased and find new patternsof rewarding interaction." The study found differences between 'normal grief' and 'morbid grief':
Normal grief achieves the separation.
Morbid grief is self-perpetuating and never ending.
Dr. Lindeman then described 5 things he saw in acute grief. These are now known as the "Five Stages of Grief" and are relatively well known in the counseling realm; at least my mother the pastor has talked about them since she was in seminary as something everyone knew or should know. So: here goes. The 5 Stages of Grief: (traditional)
Somatic Distress: Physical pain, usually in your heart or forehead. (Note: I haven’t ever grieved by finding my big toe hurt a lot. That’s another problem, relating to the pickle jar you were just holding)
Preoccupation with the image of the deceased.
Guilt
Anger
Loss of patterns of conduct
People don’t always move between them in order; Everyone doesn’t have each stage in an equal amount;, People can be in more than one stage at once.
There’s some new thinking on this subject. (My most plausible) Many books now refer to there being 10 stages. The Ten Stages of Grief (developed over last 10 years)
Ten Stages of Grief
1. SHOCK: Anesthetized against the overwhelming loss. Not comprehending and not able to face the full magnitude of it.
2 EMOTIONAL RELEASE: Beginning to realize how dreadful the loss is. Venting or releasing these feelings is better than trying to repress them.
3. 3 DEPRESSION, LONELINESS AND UTTER ISOLATION: Feeling of “No help for me.” Down in the depths of despair. Should know this is a NORMAL feeling. Aided by EXPRESSED CONCERN.
4. PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS OF DISTRESS: “Ill” with symptoms related to the loss. Best help is to understand the grief process
5. PANIC: Convinced “something is wrong with me” as a person, can concentrate on little else. May fear losing the mind.
6. GUILT FEELINGS: May recall own past neglect, mistreatment, or wrong to the deceased. Wrongs may be imaginary or exaggerated. But they may be REAL wrongs with REAL guilt. Confession and unburdening of real guilt gives best relief. “Forgiveness” of real wrongs, as if they were imaginary, is no adequate solution.
7. HOSTILITY: Feeling better leads to expressing self more actively. Hostile expressions toward those who “caused” the loss are common. Such hostility is normal but not to be encouraged.
8. INABILITY TO RENEW NORMAL ACTIVITIES: Cannot get back to “business as usual.” Must bear loss alone, since others are back to normal activities. Need encouragement to face new realities, not to be sheltered from them.
9. GRADUAL OVERCOMING OF GRIEF: Emotional balance returns little by little, like healing of a physical would. Rate varies with individuals.
10. READJUSTMENT TO THE NEW REALITIES: Not “old self again,” because there is a new situation. Stronger, deeper, better for having faced and overcome the disaster.
We pray for the conversion of all those who refuse to acknowledge that human life belongs only to God.
Scripture: Then
the word of the Lord came to me, saying: "Before I formed you in the
womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you
a prophet to the nations." - Jeremiah 1:4-5
Reflection: To be or not to be? There is no question!
The
question of "being" is something philosophers have long pondered. What
is the meaning of being and what is the source? In the passage before
us, we have our answer. We have being because we are known by God.
For
God to declare that he knows and sets apart the prophet Jeremiah even
before he is conceived indicates that our being rests in God's own
being. Because He is and because He wills we, therefore, are and do.
The Apostle Paul says as much when he declares before the philosophers
of his day, "In Him we live and move and have our being" (Acts 17:28).
One
of the tragedies of the abortion culture is that life in the womb has
been so heartbreakingly devalued. To embrace the arguments of the
"pro-choice" crowd one must conclude that the child in the womb doesn't
exist, isn't there, has no being. But nothing could be further from the
truth. That child is known by God and, as such, has being.
Prayer: Lord
God, we confess that in You we live and move and have our being.
Because You are, we are. May we find grace from You to affirm the being
of every human and may we labor to make this truth known to the world
around us. Amen.
Rev. J. Kirk van der Swaagh Pastor, Conservative Congregational Christian Conference
Have you ever wondered what to say to a woman who has relinquished her child for adoption? Afraid to say the wrong thing? Here are five comments NOT to say to a Birthmother who has placed a child in an open adoption.
I. "I could never place my baby for adoption."
This
one used to make me cringe each time I hard it. I felt like I had
failed at motherhood and the person making the comment has succeeded.
That I must have been heartless to be able to do such an act. I felt
inferior, like I need to prove something to them. I
have since learned I am not inferior, and I do not have to prove my
mothering abilities to anyone. I believe now that comment has more to
do with the person making it, than myself. Never has a woman secure in
her role as a mother said that to me. Only the doubting,
struggling-to-get-by mothers who feel that they must make such a
declaration. II. "What a wonderful gift you have given to a childless couple" Try
to see this one from the Birthmother's point of view. Now, I love my
daughter's adoptive parents, but by no means did I place my first-born
child as a 'gift' to a childless couple. I am not that nice, not that
giving. When I clutched my nine-month pregnant belly with tears in my
eyes, I did not recite the phrase, "Just think how I am giving a
special gift to people I do not know". When
it comes down to the day when you hold your child for the first time,
all thoughts of anyone else but your child and yourself fade away.
There has to a higher reason for placement. I
gave Emily's parents as a gift to my daughter. That was my plan. That
was my intention. Now, as an added benefit, I see her parents lives
enriched by Emily's existence. Together, we celebrate the gift of
knowing our daughter, Emily.
III. "You can have other children" This
speaker means well, I am sure, but this comment can strike the very
heart of a Birthmother. Other children? You can never replace another
child with another! To try and do so is to dishonor the child you have
placed for adoption and the child you use to fill the void. Let
us remember our children. Let us celebrate them. We hold a special
place in our hearts where their names will be etched forever. No matter how many babies you carry out of the hospital with you, you never will forget the one you did not.
IV. A lady once said to me, "That sure is 'nice' of her parents to let you see Emily." My quick reply was, "That sure was nice of me to give them my baby!" Needless
to say she said nothing more. I try to educate people by telling them
my story, even on days I do not feel like doing so. Some, I have
learned, are not able to be very teachable on the subject. Her
attitude was that I should be grateful, as a dog is grateful to get
scraps from the dinner table. I will not put myself in such a position.
I refuse to be the silent shadow in the corner with my eyes downcast. Aside
from the fact my daughter's parents would never treat me in such a
fashion, I am grateful to God. The open adoption I have with my
daughter is like a gift from Him-a gift that I get to open each time I
see her smiling face.
V. The fifth response a Birthmother does not want to hear is an awkward silence. We want to talk about our children. We want to remember them. We know when you are avoiding it, and it hurts. I
love it when others ask me how Emily is doing and to ask to see the
pictures from my recent visit. I enjoy swapping my labor and delivery
tales with other mothers. By the way, I was in labor for forty-two
hours with my Emily! Ouch! It
is okay to talk about the children we placed. We placed them for
adoption. We did not place them out of our thoughts and hearts. I
do not wish to offend others, but to educate how a Birthmother may feel
about these five comments. Since not every Birthmother is the same,
some may disagree or not be affected by the above. I
hope by reading this article you will feel more confident and
comfortable when speaking with a Birthmother. Please do not think we
would rather not talk about our children. Silence is the first step to
many on the road to shame.
Birth Mom Missions provides a much needed (and often overlooked) service to women who have placed their child for adoption. We offer guidance before, after and during the adoption process to all women who ask, regardless of their choices made. Much of this is done through phone conversations, emails, letters, prayers and social networking correspondence. We are dedicated to providing nonjudgmental assistance to any woman facing an unplanned pregnancy and guidance for those who choose to become birth mothers.
Two birthmother's began the mission, when they realized the great need for birth mother support before and after an adoption.
We offer local supportive groups (growing nationwide) made up of women who have been through the similar experiences. We want to provide young women in the future with the knowledge and support that we wish we had from a birth mother. Someone who knew what it was like and was totally unbiased. Someone to talk to us, inform us, guide us, emphasize with us, and answer all our silly questions. One goal of the mission is to someday see every pregnant woman that is considering adoption, have at least one birth mother mentor.
The mission touches the lives of those adopted, adoptive parents, hopeful adoptive parents, pregnant woman at risk, the unborn, and other parts of society in ways yet to be seen.
Some background: It seems that the grief which results from adoption loss more often follows a pattern which is the exact opposite of what one might expect in the case of other losses. I have reached certain conclusions on the grief associated with adoption loss, based on my own experience, the experiences of the women I have encountered and the books on grief and grief counselling which I have read. It became obvious to me that the common models of grief counselling would not work with mothers who had lost children through adoption. I concluded that the grief resulting from the loss of a child through adoption was fundamentally different from other types of grief. I explored grief associated with abortion, with stillbirth and neo-natal death and with loss of custody. Although there were some similarities, it seemed that adoption grief was unique.
This disenfranchised grief is when the grief is connected with a loss which cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned or socially supported. In many cases of disenfranchised grief, the relationship is not recognised, the loss is not recognised or the griever is not recognised. The loss of a child through adoption is usually a loss which cannot be openly acknowledged, which is why mothers often suffer in silence...people who have experienced any type of loss often feel anger, guilt, sadness, depression, hopelessness and numbness and that in cases of disenfranchised grief, these feelings can persist for a very long time. The lack of recognition of their grief often results in them holding on to it more tenaciously than they might otherwise have done.
CONCLUSIONS: The relinquishing mother is at risk for long-term physical, psychological, and social repercussions. Although interventions have been proposed, little is known about their effectiveness in preventing or alleviating these repercussions." Journal of Obstetric, Gynecological and Neonatal Nursing, 1999 Jul-Aug. pp.395-400.
We hope to help this by raising awareness among the community and create services for her recovery.
Many different groups of people fear birth parent grief for many reasons. The old adage goes that people fear what they don't know. So, we would like to shed a little light on why birth parent grief isn't meant to be scary to adoptive parents, adoptees or the general public.
We stress the birth mother aspect because we feel it is what makes us a unique organization and allows us to truly "tell it like it is" to women just like ourselves. Unfortunately we missed out on an older birth mom mentor, but we want to provide help to women in the future that experience an unexpected or crisis pregnancy and choose life. We are dedicated to providing nonjudgmental assistance to any woman facing an unplanned pregnancy and guidance for those who choose to become birth mothers. Another goal of Birth Mom Missions is to increase media awareness of Birth Mother's day (set in 1990 as the day before mother's day each year)
Founders:
Two birth mother's began this mission when they became aware of the great need for support of birth mother's post adoption. They had "roomed" together in a local adoption agengy dorm. During, their final 3 months of pregnancy. they experienced the good and the bad, the ups and the downs and everything else you could think of...together as birth mothers' of adoption,. They quickly realized just how important their friendship was then and continues to be. They lived with 30 other birth mothers (ages 13 to 40) and wre able to see several different perspectives on adoption from all sides of the triad (as the dorm was at an adoption facility)
(options to bithmom: lifemom, firstmom, tummymom, etc...In actuality most birth moms of adoption don't really care what they are called by the adoptive family and others....as long as they are called.)
The 3 main focuses within Birth Mom Missions are:
1. Support & Advice for Womenpre-and post adoption. Sometimes people surrounding adoption can unintentionally cause a birth parent to feel guilty or shameful. Unfortunately, guilt and shame seem to be an ever-evolving presence in the life of a parent who has placed a child for adoption. While no two birth parents are going to experience guilt in the same way throughout their entire journeys, birth parents should find comfort in knowing that some other birth parent, somewhere on this Earth, has felt something similar. While our experiences are unique, the issue is not. You are never alone.
A few of the services we will provide: local & nationwide supportive groups, online live meetings, prayer groups, monthly newsletters, triad forums, a 1-800 phone support line (maintained only by real birth mother's, who have been in a similar situation before,) worksheets and references for before and after to help women process the life changing events that have just occurred, and much more. We also help birth mom's in communication activities with the adoptive parents and help them vocalize all their important questions early.. It can be very intimidating making that first call to tell a couple they are about to have a family. (Many questions you might not think of, with all you have going on,) Most importantly a community of women and supporters of Birth Mom Missions praying for you through it all.
2. Birth Mom's for Life: Mother Teresa says it best, "I will tell you something beautiful. We are fighting abortion by adoption..." Pregnancy is an emotional time for a woman, even under the best of circumstances. She needs someone to lean on, particularly when she is young and inexperienced. In today's society, the "easy" solution of abortion becomes a constant temptation during this time. Our mission is to cherish children, encourage families, and tell women of the experiences we have had and witnessed We offer peer mentoring and support to all mothers who are expecting through pregnancy or adoption, or those who are experiencing the pain of miscarriage, stillbirth, abortion, or infertility. Volunteers offer support in the form of phone calls, cards, prayers, visits, emails, and educational resources
We advocate adoption as an REAL option and go to schools and other locations to spread the word about what an honor it is to be able to give the gift of life! Although it may be hard at sometimes to be a birth mother, we believe it is much harder to suffer an abortion. Some things, like a life, are never easily forgotten.
3. Adoption Celebration, Advocacy & Reform- We want to spread how wonderful adoption can be, but we see some things that could be changed for the better. We were able to see a lot from our perspective, living in an adoption dorm. We also seek to make sure every adoptee knows they are loved and missed everyday. Because the worst pain is that of feeling unwanted. They were always wanted. And finally, we provide a resource for the community to see what real birth mother's are like (instead of the "madefor TV version" many are exposed to) We promote Birth Mother's Day every year, Answering Adoptive parents questions they may have, and alieviate some fears on all sides.
We have a few products for birth mom's at http://zazzle.com/birthmoms for sell, but mainly we would appreciate if you would help us spread the word by joining or telling someone about BirthMomMissions.Com. You can becoming a fan of our facebook page, or many other groups listed on this page.
We are just getting started so bear with until we iron out the kinks. Any advice or suggestions are always appreciated. In the first few weeks of our mission, we experienced some domain issues and may have lost some emails sent to us. If you are one of those who never got a reply, please send again and we truly apologize for not responding sooner.
Even More Info:
The truth remains that birth parents have parted with a huge piece of themselves. Even the most independent woman will tell you that having a child changes a woman's view of herself. Placing that child is akin to letting go of a piece of yourself.
The wording often offered up to birth parents searching for some answers comes out something like, "Well, it's for the best." Of course, birth parents can then internalize that well-intentioned placating sentence and start to wonder what is fundamentally wrong with them that their child is better off elsewhere.
Why are we needed? One reason is:
Every year approximately 1.3 million single women become unexpectedly pregnant. Sadly, less than two percent choose the loving option of adoption, while two million couples eagerly wait to adopt children.
(More on Mission Page)
Donations:
Donations are graciously accepted. We hate asking for them though, which is something we will probably have to learn how to do in order to exist! We strive to do what is good and we feel God is calling us to do...if we don't have the funds needed at any certain time, it can be a good indicator that we were not going in the right direction!
If you want to donate, we would greatly appreciate any donations no matter how small! All donors are honored in some way and have full knowledge of where ther money went and how (or who) there money is helping. It is not just a tax deductable charity donation, it's a gift that saves lives and gives women courage and hope in times of weakness. Right now, our 24/7 Crisis pregnancy Hotline and Post Adoption Support gets the most activity and so any small funds would go directly towards that payment. Our online presence is the next area item difficult costly to maintain. We offer individual counseling and spread awareness and love for all those involved in the adoption triad! Let us know how we can help you or if you are interested in getting more involved. Join one of our MANY groups or social networks!
SO IF YOUR ADOPTED, REMEMBER: Somebody is very proud of you. Somebody is thinking of you. Somebody misses you. Somebody wants to be with you. Somebody is thankful for you. Somebody wants to hold your hand. Somebody hopes everything turns out all right. Somebody wants you to be happy. Somebody wants to give you a gift. Somebody thinks you ARE a gift. Somebody wants to hug you. Somebody wants to protect you. Somebody can't wait to see you. Somebody loves you for who you are. Somebody treasures your spirit. Somebody wants you to know they never forgot you.. Somebody would do anything for you. Somebody wants to share their dreams with you. Somebody believes in you. Somebody will cry when they read this. Somebody needs you to have faith in them. Somebody hears a song that reminds them of you. Somebody hopes you understand. Somebody wonders if you will love them. Somebody is your birth mom out there...
I know this has been covered many times before, but I thought I'd write about the one thing adoptive families fear most. For a lot of us, it's even more frightening than the prospect of a long wait. It's the Home Study. Oh, no! You have to spend at least a week cleaning your house. You have to have endless interviews. Every person you've ever met in your entire life will also be subjected to endless interviews. Your life will, basically, be under a magnifying glass, just to see if you and your family make a suitable candidate for raising a child. All this comes, for a good many of us, after a struggle with infertility. more
Post Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADS)
This is a very difficult post for me to write. I've felt strongly inclined to share my experiences with this topic, but at the same time, that doesn't make it any easier for me to say the words. After Aidan was born, I had a touch of what's best defined as the "baby blues". There were days that were rough, but for the most part, I just felt a little down. I was—and still am—blessed with a tremendous support team: my husband, my family and friends, an excellent OB and my amazing PCP. more
3. Highlighted Articles
The authors of these articles are solely responsible for their content. The views expressed therein do not necessarily represent the views of Adoption Week e-Magazine, Adoption Media, L.L.C., or any of its sponsors, advertisers or collaborators.
Caring for Your African American or Biracial Child's Hair - Mahisha Dellinger
Over the years I've read, seen, and experienced unbelievable acts of ignorance regarding ethnic hair care. It is my attempt to provide a few basic tips and tricks so you will avoid common pitfalls.more
Blended Family/Kids in Distress: What to Do? - Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
It is safe to assume that most parents will enter into a new relationship post separation/divorce, many resulting in a combination of children. The issue then becomes how to manage the new relationship in view of the kids and how to manage the adjustment process. When children appear significantly distressed in a newly blended family, the other natural parent may take them to counseling as a means to investigate the distress or help them cope. Unfortunately however while this provides a sense that something is being done, often little is accomplished.more
Raising Kids Transracially - Ann Freeman
When we chose to adopt interracially, we carefully considered what parenting children of color would mean for us and our future kids. We wanted to provide our children with natural, ongoing contact with people with whom they shared cultural identity. We wanted our kids to be in an environment where friends, neighbors and other community members included many people of their ethnicity...more
Read the entire text of these articles at e-Magazine.adoption.com, and submit your adoption-related articles for possible publication in this newsletter. All submissions will be subject to the applicable terms, restrictions and conditions of Adoption Media, L.L.C.
4. Adoption News
Legal fatherhood must be determined by more than DNA - The Vancouver Sun - www.vancouversun.com
In Quebec, DNA confirmation that a man has no genetic link to his partner's child offers no legal basis for challenging his paternity -- at least, not when he's on the birth documents and has reared the child as his own. So says the Quebec Court of Appeal in a judgment that the Supreme Court of Canada recently refused to review.read more and discuss
Mom Can End Stepfather's Visits - The Deseret News - www.deseretnews.com
The Utah Court of Appeals has ruled a Utah mother has the right to terminate a stepfather's visitation rights to their daughter after their divorce. In a ruling with implications for the rights of stepparents to visit children after a divorce, the court of appeals ruled a mother can terminate her ex-husband's legal standing to petition a court for visitation...read more and discuss
Your Adoption News - Read and Contribute by visiting Adoption.com News.
5. Featured Waiting Children
Raven (2/96) is a very pretty young lady with a great sense of humor. Raven has made great improvement in school. She is an intelligent child and does well in school. She makes average grades and has improved in managing her behaviors in school...more
6. Meet New Hopeful Adoptive Parents
The information and links displayed below relate to profile posting services provided on the ParentProfiles.com web site, which is a service of Adoption Profiles, L.L.C., who sponsors this section and is solely responsible for its content.
Gregory & Billinda (IA)
We would love and care for your precious baby more than can be humanly expressed. We both have had first hand, personal experience with adoption and feel we understand the issues and emotions associated. Please see what we have to offer your child...more
Are you pregnant? Visit ParentProfiles.com (a service of Adoption Profiles, L.L.C.) to choose who you feel will be the right adoptive parents for your baby.
Are you a hopeful adoptive parent? Explore tools to help build your profile. (Sponsored by Adoption Profiles, L.L.C., which is solely responsible for its content)
7. Adoption Gem
"Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them." -- Richard L. Evans Share your story, thought, or quote for possible publication in this newsletter. All submissions will be subject to the applicable terms, restrictions and conditions of Adoption Media, L.L.C.
8. Adoption Buzz
Adoptee Support - She loved you so much she chose adoption...
"She loved you so much she chose adoption" or any other variation of that oft said statement. As a child put in context with society at the time, it was a logical statement to make...now as an adult the phrase seems like an oxymoron, love and giving away...more
Birth Mothers Support - new- needing to talk
Hi, I gave up my beautiful baby girl,Jessica on the 17th June 2009. I love her with all my heart and soul. I had to let her go because it was the best for her, I have no support, no job and no where to live and my partner did not want a baby. I had no choice. I'm so sad and alone and have no one to talk to about what happened...more
For more on-line adoption discussions, visit forums.adoption.com.
9. Just for the Fun of It
Child Psychology
A new teacher thought she would use what she learned in her psychology courses. She said to her class, "Everyone who thinks they are stupid, please stand up."
After a few seconds, one boy stood. "Do you think you're stupid?" she asked.
"No, ma'am, but I just didn't want you to have to stand there all by yourself."
Share your family-appropriate humorous story or joke for possible publication in this newsletter. All submissions will be subject to the applicable terms, restrictions and conditions of Adoption Media, L.L.C.
I’ve always had a thing for babies and little children. I was the oldest of many cousins, so I acted like such a little mom all the time! I think that’s why I want to protect the unborn so much now too. Anyway, that facial expression of amazement I had back then, when I saw my little sister…. is almost exactly what my face looked like in the recent photo with my daughter (if you could see my face.) I still couldn’t believe this little breathing human came out of me? It’s still too amazing for me to fathom. I just got the most recent photos of my daughter in the mail today from her adoptive family, and I am even more in awe of what God can do. She is growing into such a beautiful little girl and is so happy! I love the parents so much. They said her eyes sparkle and shine so much and her smile wins over the hearts of everyone! People in their church can’t help but stop by and be captivated by her laugh and personality! Isn’t God GREAT! I was scared to open them when they first arrived, but I’m always so happy when I do. Thank you God for her and her great family!
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